Q&A For April 2008: The Answers

It’s time once again to answer some of your hard hitting questions.

Let’s get right to it:

Ali wrote:

What is your favorite healthy snack?

I love sliced green apple with fat free peanut butter spread on them. I’ve also been known to chew on carrots from time to time. Yogurt is a favorite of mine, as well.

What is your favorite non-healthy snack?

I try to stay away from the non-healthy snacks these days, but I do love salty potato chips and sugary donuts.

If you could only choose one topping (besides cheese) on a pizza, what would it be?

One topping aside from cheese? In those circumstances, probably sausage or pineapple.

For the record, my perfect pizza consists of pineapple, feta cheese and garlic.

Fried chicken: Nummy or Nasty?

It depends entirely upon who is making it. I generally stay away from fried chicken, due to how greasy it tends to be. But if made correctly, I enjoy it.

What is your favorite tasty beverage? (alcoholic and non-alcoholic)

Non-alcoholic beverages of choice include a good cup of tea, most soft drinks (though I find myself in the place of only drinking diet soft drinks, as regular soft drinks are far too sweet for me), and some flavored waters.

Alcoholic beverages is a far smaller list. If I’m drinking beer for the sole purpose of becoming intoxicated, I drink something boring and lacking in flavor, mostly American beers (Bud, Miller, Coors, etc.), but if I drink beer for pleasure, I drink something like Guinness.

Outside of beer, I prefer scotch.

What are your goals in life?

A tricky one.

The short answer is: to live.

However, there is, of course, more to it than that.

Professionally, I’d like to have at least one novel published, I’d like to complete a comic book with an artist who has the time to devote to it, I’d like to have a film in production, and I’d like to be recognized for at least one of these things.

Personally, I’d like to finally wed the woman I love, perhaps have another couple of children, and be financially stable enough to have a house we deserve as a family.

But yes, “to live”, is a good answer too.

—

Becky wrote:

What…is your favorite kind of cheese?

Sharp cheddar, provolone, swiss.

(for the record, I laughed.)

—

Jennifer Rose asked:

How is everyone?

Everyone is fine. Money is tight, the weather is Apocalyptic and weird, but overall, we’re alive.

When are you guys coming to Scotland?

When money is not so tight. Which, sadly, I feel won’t be for some time.

Unless we win the lottery.

Watch any good movies lately?

The Orphanage, a Spanish film executive produced by Guillermo Del Toro, was very well done.

Planet Terror, part of Grindhouse and directed by Robert Rodriguez, was silly and gross and fun.

Other than that, haven’t been to the theater in quite some time. But we are planning on seeing Iron Man.

Would you eat haggis, black pudding, white pudding or spotted dick?

I’m usually very open to trying new things, even when I know what’s in them. So I’d say that, yes, I would try them. I can’t guarantee they’d become new favorites, but I would give them a try.

—

Dustin asked:

Do you find it strange that you have a friend named Jennifer Rose?

Given that Jennifer Rose is one of the single coolest people on the planet, I’d say no. Not strange at all.

Do you have any friends named Mike Jim? Or Frank Larry? How about Amy Paula?

No, no, and no. But this is very much like asking “You have a friend named Dustin Brown? Do you have friends named Jack Yellow? or Bill Red? How about Hannah Blue?”, thus it strikes me as funny.

Also, is she hot?

She is a beautiful person, inside and out.

Also, you’re a pervert.

—

That’s it for this month. Thank you to those who participated.

Why Superman Doesn’t Dance

I think I understand why we never see Superman dancing.

BollyWood is an interesting sort of thing, no? When this video began, I was amused. But by it’s end, I was terrified.

I would love to find some sort of translation for the lyrics. As mortified as I am by the whole thing, I’m also intrigued enough to know exactly what they’re saying.

—

I’m ashamed by the length of my “To-Read” list.

Here’s a small sample of what’s on my current stack of things to read:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince –J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows –J.K. Rowling

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell –Susanna Clarke

The Keys To The Kingdom: Mister Monday, Grim Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday, Sir Thursday, Lady Friday (five seperate books) –Garth Nix

Inkheart –Cornelia Flunke

Inkspell –Cornelia Flunke

Never Have your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned –Alan Alda

The Bartimaeus Trilogy –Jonathan Stroud

Just a few things off the top of my reading stack. I wish I had the time to read them all in a weekend. That would be lovely. Maybe I’ll dedicate a weekend to reading one of these days.

—

Blogging Sweatshops: EXPOSED!

—

One of the single greatest Craigslist ads I have ever read. It made me laugh, it made me say “Aww”, it made me call the wife out from the other room.

Dearest GameStop Girl,

When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.

You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I’d still want to share it with you.

Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.

So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I’ll just use this knife over here. I’ll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday – someday – you and me could be a Wii.

—

Snow Again, Naturally

Now I have this song stuck in my head and I’ve no one but myself to blame.

Anyway, yes.

Snow. Again. Out of nowhere and for an entire day. I’ve discovered that the only thing that will take a bit of my newfound hatred away from snow is when snow is combined with harsh winds.

A blue garbage truck found its way into a ditch, due to the blinding white curtain of snow gusting across the road. No one was hurt, but I found the idea of a garbage truck attempting to make its way through a snow storm to be rather funny.

The sun is out today and a good portion of snow has already melted. Perhaps now we can move on with our lives, yes?

(a quick check of Weather.Com shows nothing but a mixture of sun and rain over the next ten days)

—

The novel is coming out in a very weird sputtering like phenomenon. Words will flow just fine one moment, only to become clogged within the pipes of creativity the next.

It’s very odd, but at least I have yet to halt completely.

—

The Time Travel Show, a sort of science fiction podcast featuring audiobooks and guest authors reading some great science fiction from the past, has posteda tribute to Arthur C. Clarke.

It’s a bit long, but rather touching.

—

It’s been recently brought to my attention that not everyone is aware of this site, though they should be.

DownForEveryoneOrJustMe.Com is a fantastic internet tool that has helped me quite a few times. I’ve taken it for granted and assumed everyone knew of it.

—

Just stumbled across this and have decided to purchase it when I can next afford it.

The thought of seeing episodes of Howdy Doody, Annie Oakley, Lassie, Flash Gordon, Ding Dong School, Time For Beany, The Roy Rogers Show, The Pinky Lee Show and Sheena: Queen of the Jungle makes me happy.

—

Oh dear, the 50 Best Cult Books and I’ve only read one (Slaughterhouse Five).

I should get cracking.

—

On the 6th of this month, I posted a request for Q&A Questions.

I’ve recieved only a few.

If you’d like to have an question, any question at all, answered in this very blog, please click on over and leave it in a comment.

I’ll be answering in the next couple of days.

A Lesson in Alan Moore

I have a few rather uninteresting things to say, but I’ll be saving those bits until the end of this entry.

Allow me to first list a few of the many reasons why Alan Moore is one of the most important comic book creators in the history of the medium.

Watchmen
V For Vendetta
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
From Hell

This is merely a short list of of the many contributions Moore has made to comics in his nearly three decade long career, but what a list it is. Watchmen alone is considered to be one of the single greatest graphic novels out there.

These facts are, of course, arguable. There are probably many people who consider Moore to be overrated, at best, or perhaps even a complete hack, at worst. But one thing that cannot be argued is this: Alan Moore has left his mark on this industry.

Those of you reading this who have not read Watchmen, go. Go forth, now, and procure a copy immediately. Sit somewhere quiet, with a cup of tea or coffee, and read. Be sure to clear your calendar first, as those who begin reading Watchmen seldom set it down before finishing it.

Watchmen is not a perfect graphic novel, but it sure feels close.

Something I’ve discovered only recently, but I’m told has been online for some time now, is this. It’s Alan reciting one of Rorschach’s diary entries in Watchmen. It’s eerie and wonderful.

One more reason Alan Moore is cooler than most human beings walking the planet currently:

Yes, he worships a snake god.

—

Now the boring bits:

Snow is expected tomorrow. I very nearly cried when I heard those words. It seems mother nature does not want me to experience a Spring unscathed by snow and cold winds.

It also appears that the devil tree beside our house will live to see another day.

—

A list of the Locus Awards nominees has been released. It’s good to see names like Terry Pratchett and Gene Wolfe appear a few times.

—

Guillermo Del Toro is officially directing “The Hobbit”.

If Peter Jackson won’t do it, I don’t think we could ask for a better replacement.

—

Suddenly and inexplicably, I find myself in the mood to read a little Harlen Ellison. Sadly, I don’t own any Ellison.

Maybe a trip to the library is in order.

A Study in the Effect of Lou Reed on the Removal of Limbs From Trees

This afternoon, I ventured out into our yard and, armed with nothing but a rusted hand saw, attempted to cut down a tree. I would call this a medium sized tree, nowhere near as large as will probably come to mind when one reads “I tried to cut down a tree with a small hand saw”, but still a bit too large to properly saw down by hand.

So I decided I was better off removing the branches I could reach. They were still quite thick and gave me a fair amount of trouble. I was frustrated, to say the least, at the prospect of being bested by a tree. In retreating to the house, I had a glass of water, and decided I needed musical accompaniment.

Once I returned outside, the sun warming my back, Lou Reed crooning Coney Island Baby in my ear, I resumed my efforts against my wooden enemy.

Suddenly, it seemed so much easier. The saw seemed to slide with very little difficulty and I was able to remove every limb within my reach after what seemed to be a much shorter bit of time. Which leads me to the following astonishing conclusion:

Lou Reed’s dulcet tones weaken a tree’s defenses against a rusty hand saw.

Go forth and tell the masses.

My hands are blistered, my arms are sore and I feel manly, in a very silly man-against-nature sort of way.

Although there is still much work to be done out there and reportedly a few thunder storms on the way.

—

Speaking of Lou Reed, here is an mp3 of him reading Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven.

Enjoy.

—

I’ve recently discovered, over at the Barnes & Noble website, an audio interview series entitled “Meet The Writers”.

Here are some of the more interesting interviews:

Terry Pratchett

Neil Gaiman

Christopher Moore

Terry Brooks

Eoin Colfer

R. A. Salvatore

There’s quite a few other very interesting ones from many different genres (those I’ve linked above are authors in the SF game). Click around and give a listen.

—

The second prologue bit is slowly, yet steadily, moving forward. The word document is open in a background window as I type this. Contemplating how much to show and to whom I wish to show it.

Perpetually Sunday and A List of Excuses

I went to sleep Sunday night and awoke Monday morning to find it was still Sunday. At least, it felt that way to me.

When I awoke Tuesday morning, it still felt like Sunday, until I’d realized I’d had to work. It’s now 4:23am on Wednesday morning and as I kissed the wife and wished her a safe trip to work, I thought ahead to an afternoon full of yard work and dishes and the sort of thing one associates with Sunday afternoons.

I’m beginning to think I’ve fallen into some sort of mental time loop, in which I will forever feel as though it’s Sunday, even though it’s Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday.

I’m not sure it’s such a curse at all, actually.

—

With Monday being our anniversary, and Tuesday turning out to be the sort of day in which one spends the better part of an afternoon organizing the cooler of a convenience store, I’ve gotten very little writing done over the past two days. Thus, I find myself befallen to one of the single worst trappings a writer can find him or herself in; excuses.

I’m too tired.

I’ve no time.

I don’t feel well.

These are all common things to be said by a writer who has begun a novel. Granted, the only thing I thought of on Monday was the wife, and Tuesday found me to be both exhausted and sore, but I still should have made some time to write.

And I am ashamed.

Even though today’s schedule will be one full of cleaning house, yard work and important phonecalls, I will make time to write. A thousand words a day has proven to be a bit more difficult, given my schedule, than I had originally anticipated, but I will make every attempt I can.

No more excuses.

In Which We Learn Darth Vader Has A Drinking Problem

Monday was our anniversary. I had explained this to my boss, who imediately said “Don’t worry about coming in that day, then!”, which was awfully sweet of her.

The day was spent watching rented movies (Juno, which was good, Alien Vs Predator: Requiem, which was not so good), eating at a local diner, and just generally being disgustingly and adorably a couple.

It was a good day.

—

I’ve stumbled across this article, which indicates that the Sith Lord, Darth Vader, may have a bit of an alcohol problem.

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.

Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted “Darth Vader!”

And

Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was “ruining his life” and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

Are my favorite bits.

—
Seven Things Sci-Fi Fans Should Stop Doing.

It’s a very interesting article. One thing that struck me in a very funny-yet-also-true sort of way, was the following:

People With Different Taste To You Are Not Inferior
Okay so you prefer the remake of Battlestar Galactica to the original. Chances are that many or most people agree with you. But that doesn’t make you better than the people who don’t like the new BSG. It’s entirely possible for two intelligent people to hold contradictor opinions. Taste is a personal preference, nothing more.

It’s also quite funny that they would cite the Battlestar Galactica fandom specifically, as I am of the decidedly small group of people who prefer the 1970s Battlestar Galactica to the more modern remake. I am also a part of the decidedly large group of people who get flack for disliking the new version. I’m told I have no taste or that I am “lame” for not liking what is “an obviously superior series”, at which I simply laugh because of the very point made above.

The Spirit

Sixty eight years ago, a man named Will Eisner created what would go on to become one of the most important comic books in that or any year.

The Spirit followed the exploits of Denny Colt, a Central City detective who was presumed dead. When he reappeared, fed up with the crime and desolution overcoming his city, Colt donned a mask and took it upon himself to become a one man army against the criminals that nearly cost him his life.

The Spirit was a working class superhero who stood for justice when no one else would. He embodied the every day struggle of the common man against the cruelty of the world around him.

Next year, comic visionary Frank Miller, will redefine The Spirit on the silver screen.

Here, you can watch the teaser trailer for The Spirit. Be sure to play the clips after the trailer, they’re entertaining. Frank Miller is afraid of an undead Will Eisner and Eva Mendes has no clue what The Spirit is about.

In watching the teaser, which is just that, a teaser, and not meant to be taken as a final cut sort of trailer, I’ve realized I only have two problems; The fact that The Spirit is in black and red as opposed to blue and red, which I would normally be willing to overlook, except in this case it makes the film look a bit too much like a Sin City related project (which is my second problem).

While I do not doubt that The Spirit’s attire will remain black in the future trailers, and subsequent film itself, I do hope Miller does something to it to take it away from that Sin City aftertaste.

That being said, I have faith in Frank Miller’s vision.

—

With the release of film adaptations of Will Eisner’s The Spirit and Alan Moore’s Watchmen in 2009, it’s certainly shaping up to be a wonderful year for film adaptations of amazing comic books.

Whereas Miller’s retelling of The Spirit left me with a distinct Sin City aftertaste, Zack Snyder’s take on Watchmen seems to be dead on so far. (though there is no teaser just yet)

I do not envy Miller or Snyder for being in their current position. If either of them manage to sully the visage of their respective source materials, I envision a legion of very unhappy comic book fans descending upon them as locusts would.

—

Planning on starting the second bit of prologue before I go about my housework. I truly cannot wait to share this with all of you and may decide very soon to give you all a sneak peek of what it is I’m working on.

If there would be any interest, of course.

Prologues and Dismissed Cases

First thing, I suppose, is first. I know there will be a quite a few people reading this blog who may not know who Gordon Lee is. They may not even know what The Comic Book Legal Defense Fund is.

For those currently reading:

Here is a Wikipedia entry on the CBLDF.

And here is a Wikipedia entry on Gordon Lee.

Give them a browse and get caught up.

For those unwilling to click the above links, Gordon Lee is the owner of a comic book store in Rome, Georgia, who has been previously charged and convicted with selling pornographic materials. In his own store. To adults. Who had asked him for the materials.

This current case, however, involves the alleged incident in which a comic book containing a scene in which Picasso is painting, though in the nude, was given to a nine year old child on Halloween.

If such a thing had happened to my nine year old, I would have been upset as well. But I would have approached the store owner and let me feelings known to him/her. In this instance, however, the law became involved, and Lee was charged with two felonies and five misdemeanors.

This was in 2004. In the four years since, Mr. Lee has experienced the legal equivalent of a roller coaster, involving mistrials, postponements and several other delays.

Well, it’s been announced that Gordon Lee’s case has been dismissed. The link leads to a very interesting, albeit short, Newsarama interview with the Executive Director of the CBLDF, Charles Brownstein.

Granted, the dismissal of the case is not the same as an obvious win, but- Well, Brownstein says it best below:

NRAMA: From the view of the CBLDF, how does a complete dismissal compare to a courtroom victory?

CB: A clean win is a clean win. And this is a very clean win.

It should have never gone this far to begin with.

Four years and over $100,000 of donated money later and the “attempted miscarriage of justice” (as Neil Gaiman called it) that was the Gordon Lee case is finally over. Gordon Lee can return to his daily life unafraid of the authorities watching over him.

It’s just a sad state of affairs. In what is supposed to be a free country, this sort of thing still happens. And the Gordon Lee debacle is but one of many cases that the CBLDF is on a mission to help. Here’s just a few of them in recent years.

If you have the time and the money and want to donate to a worthy cause, please give pause and consider the CBLDF.

Here is a YouTube video of Neil Gaiman making the announcement at last night’s New York Comic Con:

—

I’ve finished what will be the first of two prologues for the novel this morning. Really, it’s one prologue, in two parts, seperated by a quote page. I would hope to finish a chapter a day from this point on, but I can easily tell the chapters will get longer and longer as I press on. So I can only hope to finish most of a chapter a day from this point on.

I’m really enjoying myself so far.

Happy Doctor Who Day

A quick one, sorry.

Tonight will be Doctor Who and we will rejoice. The level of Doctor Who love in this household lately is amazing, as is the level of anticipation for this new season. It seems far longer than it has been since the last season.

—

On a brief adventure to Casey’s last night for carbonated syrup-laced beverages, I noticed a list of outside chores Boss Lady had left for me for today. I get the joy of showing up in jeans and a t-shirt and working out in the sun all day.

Few things can compare to working outside. Such a simple pleasure. Fresh air, sunshine, the smell of freshly mowed lawns. I’m actually looking forward to it.

—

Early this morning, after the wife had left for work, I re-read the five thousand or so words I had completed of what will be my first novel. I was suddenly struck with a far better way to start it, however.

So I did. I opened a fresh word document and began to type, using the previously written words, in a seperate window, as a base on which to build. I was able to write a solid opening before retiring to bed. I then wrote a few more solid paragraphs when I woke up until just now, when I realized I should really get dressed and go to work.

I’m excited. I think I know how to continue now.

Onward I go. Wish me luck.