Why Superman Doesn’t Dance

I think I understand why we never see Superman dancing.

BollyWood is an interesting sort of thing, no? When this video began, I was amused. But by it’s end, I was terrified.

I would love to find some sort of translation for the lyrics. As mortified as I am by the whole thing, I’m also intrigued enough to know exactly what they’re saying.

I’m ashamed by the length of my “To-Read” list.

Here’s a small sample of what’s on my current stack of things to read:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince –J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows –J.K. Rowling

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell –Susanna Clarke

The Keys To The Kingdom: Mister Monday, Grim Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday, Sir Thursday, Lady Friday (five seperate books) –Garth Nix

Inkheart –Cornelia Flunke

Inkspell –Cornelia Flunke

Never Have your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned –Alan Alda

The Bartimaeus Trilogy –Jonathan Stroud

Just a few things off the top of my reading stack. I wish I had the time to read them all in a weekend. That would be lovely. Maybe I’ll dedicate a weekend to reading one of these days.

Blogging Sweatshops: EXPOSED!

One of the single greatest Craigslist ads I have ever read. It made me laugh, it made me say “Aww”, it made me call the wife out from the other room.

Dearest GameStop Girl,

When I walked into your store that fateful Tuesday, I expected only to find a smattering of half-decent titles tucked back there amongst the used 360 games. Instead I found you, surrounded by a beam of light, halfway between Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty 3. Your gorgeous dark hair was radiant in contrast with the rainbow of colors on the deluxe Bioshock behind you. The Game of the Year held no interest for me when I saw you look up and smile, even though both could hold me in Rapture.

You commanded the register when it was my turn to check out with the Orange Box. Yes, I was finally getting to play Portal. Lucky me, you said with the cutest smile. Lucky me, I thought, and then knew you had the Portal to my heart. I could care less if the cake is a lie, I’d still want to share it with you.

Oh GameStop Girl, how you make my heart meter skip a beat. If you were being held captive in a mountain fortress by a ruthless mutant mafia gangboss and I had to fight my way through 16 levels of fire-breathing undead ninjas with swords the size of small ponies, I would find a way, even if, after every level, a small man continued to taunt me by saying that you were in another castle. EVEN IF.

So, yes, GameStop Girl, I want to kill robotic zombie terrorists with you. You can even have the deluxe shotgun with explosive scattershot. I’ll just use this knife over here. I’ll do anything for you, just for the small, slightest chance that someday – someday – you and me could be a Wii.


Published by Rob Kaas

Biographical information? I was born 37 years ago. I've lived a little here and there since then. I do not look forward to death. Biographical enough for you?

2 thoughts on “Why Superman Doesn’t Dance

  1. Dude.

    1. When did Spiderman grow a vagina and chick-tits?
    2. Mike just informed me, after I typed #1 that there is a Spiderwoman and a Spidergirl. Which is totally Spidergay.
    3. I never knew that Supes turns translucent while flying. Or that he stands on something white while dancing in the clouds.
    4. Just… wtf.

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