Hello again, you beautiful internet people. You look lovely today. You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? And you, over there, you’ve done something with your hair. It’s marvelous. Honestly, none of you have ever looked better.
Now, on with the posting of useless gooblets of information:
First there’s this:
Nice lil video, eh? But the video is not what I’m calling your attention to, my dear reader, no no no, I am instead calling to your attention the fact that it is a Vimeo hosted video! It’s true! And it’s all thanks to the lovely pixelated diva Ali.
Today, my boss asked me for my e-mail address. Upon taking a bit of paper and a pencil and scribbling my e-mail address on it then giving it to her, she laughed an evil laugh and put it away in her pocket.
I’ve no doubt she’ll use my e-mail address to look into my sordid past. She’ll poke and prod at the internet, using my name and e-mail, until her investigations will bear fruit and she’ll learn of the torrid events of my life prior to becoming her humble employee.
It would be a common thought to say she may learn of such horrors and think ill of me, but anyone who knows of the escapades of my youth will tell you, quite simply: She will probably promote me out of sheer awe and respect.
“He did what? With a sheep, you say? My God.” she’ll say, “And what’s this police report, here? He urinated off of where? On to who? How is he not in prison right now?”
And then she will come into the work the next day, drag me out of the chill aired hell of the cooler, and hand over the title of Manager.
“I’m clearly ill-equipped for this job compared to you.” she’ll say, then she’ll walk away into the sunset, silently cursing herself for ever Googling me.
Actually, she’ll probably just send me chain e-mails and links to humorous websites.
Also, no, I’ve never even touched a sheep, nor have I urinated off of anything, nor on to anyone.
If I stop posting to this blog, it’s because my boss has found this entry, has fired me over it, and my unemployment check won’t pay for our internet bill.
I want to see Sunshine Cleaning very badly:
The first eleven episodes of Quantum Leap are now on Hulu. You should watch them.
I love you, internet. Is there a “World Internet Day” or something? There should be.
I’m off to do many boring things. I will update again soon.