Q&A For August: The Answers

Let’s get right down to it, yeah?

Jen asks:

where’s my video dammit?!

A: Actually, I have an explanation for this! Our computer has been acting extremely slow lately and hasn’t been cooperating in the “allowing me to edit video” department, so I just haven’t been able to upload anything. I promise, though. Once we get it figured out, there will be many more video blogs, including one JUST FOR YOU. Well, and John. You and John. Because you’re awesome.

oh and whats for dinner?

A: Generic pasta.

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Lizzie wrote:

Why?

A: That is fucking deep (that’s what she said). My answer to that is BECAUSE.

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Dustin “Hurricane of Love” Brown asks:

How can i meet girls who aren’t lying whore faces?

A: I promise you that they’re not all lying whore faces. There are plenty of lying whore faces out there, though. On both sides of the gender wars, if we’re being honest. I’ve seen my fair share of lying whore faces in the past and I can say it sometimes takes some wading through the pools of bullshit before you find the green pastures of love.

My advice is this: Hang in there, remember that the ones that break your heart don’t deserve to remain there anyway, and don’t give up on love (corny, I know), because it’s out there and you’ll find it. Even a jaded prick like you will one day find your perfect mate. :|

If i drove to your house, could i stay on your couch? By stay, I mean stain.

A: If I had a couch that wouldn’t kill you, then yes. Man, I’m telling you, when we can save up enough money to either fix up this place or get a new one, I want to have people visit all the time. But as this place (barely)stands right now, it’s just not feasible. The house may implode and kill us all if one more person were to show up here, really. It’s that dangerous.

So short answer: Once we have a couch worthy of your loveable ass, yes. You may stay on it (stain on it).

When you go to sleep at night, what is most commonly on your mind?

A: It depends on the kind of day I’ve had prior to going to sleep. If I’m feeling happy, it’s happy thoughts (love, life, pie). If it’s the opposite, it’s opposite thoughts (hatred, death, lack of pie).

Most nights, my mind is all over the place. I think of family, I think of friends, I think of where I’ll be in five years, in ten years. I think of where I’ve been, where I’m going. I think of the regrets I have and wonder if they’re worth holding on to. I think of what I’ll be doing the next day. All over the place.

If you could be a dinosaur, which would you be and why?

A: I’d be a stegosaurus, because I’ve always thought that, of all the dinosaurs, the stego would be the most fun to hang out with. The stegosaurus seems like the kind of dinosaur that you could catch a movie with, maybe grab a few beers and just kick back and listen to Rush. Stegosaurus seems like a Rush fan. And Kiss. I bet the stegosaurus loves Kiss.

If I died in your arms tonight and it must have been something you said, what would those words have most likely been?

A: “You look like you’ve had a long day. I’ve taken the liberty of filling your bathtub with JELLO and setting the CD player to play ‘I’ll Make Love To You’ by Boyz-II-Men on repeat. Let’s make magic, baby.”

Are you well hung?

A: It’s proportionate (for a dwarf).

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Tracy wrote:

Actually, Tracy, a friend/former coworker of mine, had recently read some of my short fiction and, being impressed by it, asked what I was doing out here in Minnesota instead of somewhere with a higher chance of being “noticed”.

First off, let me say that I’m flattered by how impressed she seemed by my work. I never really expect such a positive reaction when people read anything I’ve written, so it’s a nice surprise when it happens.

Secondly, in response to “What are you doing [here]? You need to be where you can get noticed. We love having you here…but do you think you will get where you want to be by being [here]?” I have to say, the wonderful thing about writing is that you can do it just about anywhere. Granted, if I were to be living someplace like Los Angeles (for example), I might be in a better position to have face time with the people I would be submitting things to. But the internet has really changed things. I’m able to get in touch with people who may be able to further my writing career with a mere e-mail.

In moving from California to Minnesota, I was never once concerned with not being able to continue with my writing. Everyone else seemed concerned about it. My parents were concerned, even Danielle was concerned, but I’ve never been.

I do not write as much as I used to, this is true. I won’t deny that. But life will always get in the way, no matter where you happen to call home. I’d much rather write a bit less, but be blissfully happy in other areas of life, than be in a position to write all day long while drinking away a miserable life. Many of the writers I’ve looked up to for years have led such lives, and I do not intend to follow in their footsteps in that regard.

I will finish my novel someday. I will collect my short stories into a book. I will finish and eventually direct a screenplay. Someday all of these things will happen, I’m not worried about when.

This was a very interesting question and one that really got me thinking, so I thank you for that, Tracy. I’ve never once regretted moving out here, for any reason. I’ve been happier living here with Danielle than I have been in a very, very long time. I have met some truly wonderful people and living here has been an experience I would never trade for anything in the world.

In regard to my writing, I try to set aside time to write. “Sunday will be writing day”, I say. “Writing, all day, no excuses.” But when you’re a family man, other things pop up and always will.

My family is the single most important thing in my life and always will be. I’m a writer, plain and simple. It’s who I am and what I do. But it will always be a secondary title to husband/father.

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That wraps up this months Q&A. Thanks to those who have sent in questions!

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