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How About A Nice Generic Punch?

So, I sit here at 7:30pm (central standard) and I am drinking generic store brand fruit punch type beverage (5% juice!), which is huge, as I could very easily be playing Final Fantasy XIII. I mean, granted, it only came out Tuesday and I’ve already logged almost 24 hours of play (would have been a much higher number, but the wife had to play too), but still. It’s sitting there, in my X-Box, ready to play, and here I am, sipping my generic store brand fruit punch type beverage, updating you on the recent ups and downs (that will be funny later) of my life.

I even took Tuesday off of work because it was FFXIII launch day. I don’t feel too bad about doing this, because I rarely ask for days off. I’m usually only off of work if I’m sick or injured.

Oh, by the way, I’m injured.

Allow me to paint you a melody (what?) regarding my latest in a long line of unintentional slapstick.

It was last Friday. The wife had just returned to work after a ten day vacation (best birthday gift ever, by the way), which meant I got up at 2:30am to make her coffee/get her lunch together/warm up the car (as I do every night she works, because I am awesome), which meant when I tried getting up at 8:00 to start getting ready for work myself, it didn’t work out as planned. I called my boss to inform her that I was (am?) retarded and slept later than planned and would thus be into work later than planned, to which she responded with “that’s okay” (because she, too, is awesome). I then spent the better part of twenty minutes looking for a pair of socks, after which I got dressed and speed walked to work.

Or rather, I speed walked two thirds of the way to work, which would be the time I slipped on some ice and went down faster than a, uh, young woman after a social event at which she had too many drinks and started to perform oral sex on strangers. A whore, I guess. I went down faster than a whore. I was vertical then I was horizontal and I- Look, I fell is what I’m trying to say.

Anyway, I landed directly on my left knee which was both bleeding and very painful. I limped the rest of the way to work and was ordered home by my boss, who also gave me a ride (remember: she’s awesome). It’s not broken or sprained or anything of that nature whatsoever, but it’s still sore. General walking around/doing stuff is fine, but if I’m on it for too long, it hurts. A lot. Plus, stairs are pretty much my sworn enemy right now. The wife says it’s normal and should feel better after a couple of weeks (!!!), but it’s making work extremely difficult, as I’m on my knees a lot (shutup) and I’d really like my knee back.

Other things of interest: I’m older. My birthday was March 2nd and I find no shortage of humor in the scenario that played out three days later, in which I was basically reduced to publicly improving as the old lady from those “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” commercials.

I’m also on X-Box live now. So add RobK1984 if you like to have a good time. Wait. Jesus, no, not like that. I meant, if you like playing games with strangers, I’m your guy. Shit, no, that’s- Nevermind.

THE FOLLOWING WILL BE EXTREMELY NERDY AND YOU MAY WANT TO AVERT YOUR EYES YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:

So, FFXIII. I’ve been looking forward to this game more than any other game for a long, long time. I was looking forward to seeing how they were going to improve on Final Fantasy XII, which was pretty sprawling and epic. But this? This was going to be on the PS3 and 360, with all their beefy processory goodness, so this game was going to be HUUUUUUGE. Plus, the announcement that the battle system was going to be more similar to a turn-based style, which was one of the few things I felt XII lacked, made me extremely happy.

Well, the battle system is KIND OF turn-based. It’s very unique and pretty complex. I didn’t like it at first, but now that I’ve been playing with it so long, I’ve come around.

But what gets me is how frigging linear it is. I mean, it’s closer to Final Fantasy X than it is XII. It’s just a lot of running in a straight line. That was my biggest beef with FFX, the fact that pretty much the entire game was run from point A to point B, watch a cut scene, fight something, repeat. But at least FFX had towns and places you could visit outside of the regular storyline. XIII has eliminated that, as near as I can tell. You do your shopping from the save menu and whenever you do get to a town, it’s either for five seconds in a flashback, or it’s under siege and it’s essentially another battle map. It’s deeply disappointing in that regard. Plus you don’t even get to start leveling up your characters until the third chapter, which is roughly two and a half or three hours of gameplay later.

I don’t know, I’m still digging it and it’s gorgeous, but I was expecting much much more.

THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT FOR THE GEEKY STUFF I THINK SO YOU “NORMIES” CAN READ FROM HERE ON THANKSSOMUCH

Actually, I think that covers it. I may or may not be going to play FFXIII now.

ALRIGHT I TOTALLY AM.

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